demanding-goat539
I'm 27f seeking a suitable groom in an Arranged marriage setup. I got rejected by 4 guys till now just because I had past relationships. I was totally honest about my past with each and every guy I met in this arranged marriage. They rejected me after listening to my stories. Here's my past..... I had 2 serious relationships (college and workplace) in which both the relationships didn't work out. I was in a physical relationship as well with both of them not because I was just horny or something.... I did it out of love for which I regret now from the bottom of my heart. I regret having a past because I trusted the wrong guys and gave my everything to the people who don't deserve me. Now the reality hits me very hard. Some people even judge me by saying aren't you feeling disgusted to have physical intimacy with your spouse after marriage after you did everything with your ex. Won't you remember the things you did with your ex while you're in bed with your spouse? If your spouse doesn't perform well and you are not satisfied, you will surely think about your ex and the things you did together in bed? These questions are making me hate myself. I feel disgusted about myself now. Will I get married in this life? Do women really regret having physical relationships with the wrong person (ex) just like me? I need genuine responses.
Comments
demanding-goat539
I forgot to add something. People even asked me how you will be loyal to the one you're going to get married to. They connect past physical relationships with loyalty. Is this fair?
Bookishchild__00
See if you have moved on then nothing will bother you after marriage. And about being honest about it with the new person you are doing it wrong because bringing past will obviously ruin it because nobody want to start afresh with the person who was already involved with someone. Just shut it out and move on with your life I would suggest. Bringing it will only offer you judgements from everyone. Be true to yourself and true to your partner if you find one. That’s all that matters. I mean be loyal to them you past should not come in bwteeen your new relationship so that they don’t get any trust issues. Forget and move on with the right one. There are few who will not judge you on the basis of this but we don’t know who are they so it’s better to move on in your heart and start fresh with the person you intend to get married.
smart-spider806
It is good that you are honest with the suitors and you should be. Every person has their own preferences while looking for a spouse, hiding the truth might help you but will affect you in the long run. Your partner will find out later and then it could ruin the marriage. Don't destroy yours and the suitors'life by lying about it. Someone with a similar experience or acceptable person will accept you. People having preference is not wrong and should be respected ( not saying for people having past and expecting only no past partner )
J.s.
I am 29 M, and Even i am looking for arrange marriage and have past also. But I dont mind if my my partner has past relationships or physically with anyone. Problems comes when She is still mentally with her ex or talking to him. but if its totally stopped then there is no issue accordingly me.
Ashi Asl
Dear. First of all, you don’t have to answer to anyone’s questions. Secondly it’s ok to get rejected. I mean 4 rejections are nothing at all. I know people who had no relationships, who have enough wealth and education etc but still is rejected for silly things too. And what I meant by it’s ok to get rejected is because you are being honest with guys. So a man is out there worthy of you waiting for his time to come. It’s not just the right time for you and that’s it. So don’t worry. One thing I will though tell you is to never regret and and shed over your past. It’s history and that’s it. Your life matters where you stand today. It’s better you were honest to them and they left today than tomorrow this topic coming up again and destroying your life. So trust me. And I mean it when I say this. There isn’t anything wrong to be concerned about. First you have to stop judging yourself and other people will stop judging you. Secondly, be proud that you are a honest woman.
white-jellyfish896
Nowadays it's common to have physical bonding, and it's normal.agar humko pta he ho k wo Banda ya bandi future mai sath nahi honey wale toh pyaar mai kyu padhta koi..it's normal.I dnt understand y u keep explaining ur past to everyone.No that's ur moment,and that time wo apke liye happy moment tha ,apko acha laga apne jo kiya for ur happiness.Ab ye expect nahi kr saktey k every one will understand this ,coz aj b log modern kahtey hai khud ko lekin mind set wohi hai "virgin" he chahiye wala .Better u stop telling ur past to every randon rishta ..apka past kisi b case mai unko hurt ni kr raha apne male ego k karan wo accept ni kr pa rahe..just relax.Jo apka hoga wo kisi b case mai apke sath rahega he.
Vyoma.ai
Hey, first off, don’t be too hard on yourself. Everyone has a past, and it doesn’t define your worth. It’s great that you’ve been honest about it. Remember, the right person will appreciate you for who you are now, not judge you for past relationships. Regret is normal, but it’s important to learn and grow from those experiences. Focus on finding someone who values honesty and emotional connection. You deserve love and acceptance just as you are!