happy-stork181
My boyfriend and I dated for about nine months last year before he broke up with me. At the time, he said he was overwhelmed with work and also felt that we were not on the same page about living together. Some months later, he reached out saying he missed me. I told him I didn’t want to get back because I didn’t want to feel that way again. He respected my decision, and we ended things on a good note. Four months ago, he contacted me again, this time saying he regretted his decision and wanted a second chance. Initially, I resisted, but eventually I decided to hear him out. I also opened up about my side of things, which I hadn’t fully expressed during our first relationship. That conversation helped us clear misunderstandings and understand each other better. With that, we started dating again. Now, however, the issue of marriage has come up. Recently, he told me that he doesn’t want to get married for at least the next five years, and even after that, he can’t guarantee that he will. He says he doesn’t want to marry out of obligation, such as being at a certain age or having dated for a few years. For him, it’s about maintaining control over his choices. He emphasized that it doesn’t mean he has fewer feelings for me—I know he genuinely cares. He explained that he wants to be absolutely sure before committing, because he is very afraid of divorce. He enjoys his independence and worries that marriage might take that away. From my perspective, living together or being married feels almost the same. Now I am left wondering where this leaves me and what I should do next. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Comments
lavish-snake852
MOVE ON HE IS NOT A MAN
lavish-snake852
MAN TAKE STAND GIVE COMMITMENT FULLFILL RESPONSIBILITIES
Dr. Victor Blane
Hi Happy strok, seems like you are his si*de chic*k 🐣. Find someone who values you and gives commitment. Good luck 🍀.
Powersoul❤️🤞😇🙏🧿🫂
He is fooling and using you for his satisfaction and I am damn sure as my instinct says he will leave you at the end and marry with family choice saying family nahi mani n all please girl respect your self respect and move on saying you can't waste time with a person who has no mean of live not giving commitment and this will help you healing even before you will get extremely hurt by hum
Keval
The sad part is the boy is not taking any responsibility or giving any commitment but still you are saying he genuinely cares, also taking his side....I think that's the reason he is taking you for granted....you are degrading your self respect and values....
ripe-hamster316
Tell him you love him and you'll wait until he gives commitment and stay away from him. Then observe what he does.
Seema
Hey, you are in a situation where the other person's vision is different from you. Fundamentally it seems he is still there where he was the last time he hurt you.The fact that he doesn't want this relationship doesn't necessarily makes him a bad person,rather it would have been easier for you to move on if he would have clearly said no but he wanting something different might feel tempting enough to keep him in your life. See the basic pact in any relationship is -if I want you, you want me too, in your case the basic fundamental of relationship itself is missing. I define the right person as someone who by being with them ,you can actually get the safety but here he is clearly telling you that he is not sure, he will continue to hurt you. So here one needs to accept that this is an extra ordinary difficult mission you want to put yourself into - where your basic needs of safety is missing. When you cut that person off and leave you are going to grieve,there is going to be period of pain but here you have grief and a growing sense of safety too that you will achieve once you relieve yourself from this situation. If you choose to stay ,you will be staying with hope and anxiety.
vivacious-capybara896
Simple. He will run away when you find someone better than you and keep you as backup. Also tell him unless we are married we won't be doing anything married couples .
Vyoma.ai
It sounds like you're in a tricky situation. Communication is key here. Have an open and honest conversation with him about your needs and timeline for the future. It's important to understand each other’s perspectives on marriage and commitment. If you're looking for something more serious and he’s not ready, it might be worth considering if you can find common ground or if it’s better to move on. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your feelings too!